Robert Burns
Address to a haggis

   Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
   Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
   Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
      Painch, tripe, or thairm:
   Weel are ye wordy of a grace
      As lang's my arm.
   
   The groaning trencher there ye fill,
   Your hurdies like a distant hill,
   Your pin wad help to mend a mill
      In time o' need,
   While thro' your pores the dews distil
      Like amber bead.
   
   His knife see rustic Labour dight,
   An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
   Trenching your gushing entrails bright
      Like onie ditch;
   And then, O what a glorious sight,
      Warm-reekin, rich!
   
   Then, horn for horn, they strech an' strive:
   Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
   Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
      Are bent like drums;
   Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
      'Bethanket!' hums.
   
   Is there that owre his French ragout
   Or olio that wad staw a sow,
   Or fricassee wad mak her spew
      Wi' perfect sconner,
   Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
      On sic a dinner?
   
   Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
   As feckless as a wither'd rash,
   His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
      His nieve a nit;
   Thro' bluidy flood or field to dash,
      O how unfit!
   
   But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
   The trembling earth resounds his tread.
   Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
      He'll make it whissle;
   An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
      Like taps o' thrissle.
   
   Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
   And dish them out their bill o'fare,
   Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
      That jaups in luggies;
   But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
      Gie her a Haggis!
   

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